Monday, June 16, 2008

Should a Woman Take a Man's Last Name?

I would not mind in the least if she kept her family name. In fact, I would respect it and honor it.

This has nothing to do with honoring a particular relationship within the marriage covenant.

It has to do with lineage.

Name change for a woman was created originally because women were property. I could buy a wife for 10 sheep and 3 goats. If she was really sturdy and produce a lot of heirs it would be 15 sheep and 4 cows. And so, as my property she takes my name. She is "mine."

That is no longer true. Today, she is not my property. She is my companion.

I will give the same respect to the lineage of my wife as I will to my own family lineage. Her roots are no less important than mine. Her mother and father are no less honorable than mine. And thus if she wishes to keep her family name I would respect that, and even honor it.

Please note again: This has nothing to do with honoring a particular relationship within the marriage covenant itself. It is honoring lineage.

And... we should all respect the decisions made by a particular couple. Ever situation may be different.
If my future wife ihas been divorced, I would not want her to keep the name of her former husband. Though, if she has children with that man, then that has to be taken into consideration. It may be best for the children that they have the same name as their mother. And I would do in that situation what I thought was best for them - not me.

Husbands: Would you really lay down your life for your wife as instructed? If so - what value is a name? Give up YOUR name for your wife. Would you?

The situations could be complex and there is no simple ya or nay answer here.

My 2cents.

See Single Christian Network


The bible is historical as well as inspirational.

What I mean by that is that there is an actual historical record there. This does not mean that the history is the aways the way it SHOULD be, but the rather way it WAS. It is the record of the success and failures of a group of Hebrews over a long period of time.

The history shows the failings of many people. The history includes cultural traditions. The history includes wars that should not have been. The history includes the bad as well as the good. So, having said that, it is wise that we be careful in saying "well they did it this way in the bible so...." We don't carry every tradition of the Hebrew world with us into today's world. We don't wear robes today because they did in the old testament. We must be careful to separate the historical from the inspirational.

God, I believe, respected the culture of the people He was speaking to. He spoke to them in a way that they could understand. God didn't tell Moses how to conduct electricity through copper (a conductor)instead of cold glass (an insulator) because even the concept of electricity was unfathomable. God spoke to them within the framework of their understanding. God didn't speak to Moses in "Spanish."

What God is saying to you today is more important than than what or how they did things in a Hebrew world, coming out of slavery, and for the most part, very uneducated and ignorant. God spoke to them in a way they could understand. Gave them some rules to help them and let them grow. And grow they did.

Once, I taught my children not to touch matches. "They are dangerous." "Never ever play with these!" That is what I said. I was right.
I told them "Never cross the street without an adult to help you! It's dangerous!" I meant it.
I told them those things because I loved them.
Today, they use matches. They cross the street. They grew up.

So will God speak to you.